Lost but not forgotten
by Sydders2303
Summary: Sips visits sjin in hospital. But all is not OK. Thx to vyndist on tumblr.


post/77763263433/lost-but-not-forgotten-a-requested-sjips-fanfiction

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The air reeked of disinfectant, making Sips' head hurt. Stretching in the cramped chair, Sips absently scrolled through a random website on his phone, occasionally checking other apps while waiting for the doctor.

Hearing footsteps, Sips looked up and met gazes with a slightly stocky, blond man, his goggles propped on his head. Standing up, Sips extended a hand in greeting, the handshake returned by the doctor.

"You must be… Sips?" Flipping a few papers up over his clipboard, the man gave Sips a questioning look. Nodding, Sips could only clench his fists, the anticipation killing him.

"My name is Duncan Jones. I was Sjin's doctor, as you've probably guessed. Though, this is the first time I've properly met you. Sjin talked about you all the time, you know. Could hardly get him to stop once he got going." Chuckling lightly, Duncan cleared his throat and took on a more serious tone.

"I know how anxious you are, Sips. If you'd be so kind as to follow me, I can take you to his room now." Biting his bottom lip, Sips only nodded again, not trusting his own voice. Turning around quickly, Duncan took up a quick stride towards Sjin's room, though they still seemed too slow for Sips' liking.

Stopping in front of one of the many uniform doors, Duncan gently opened it, revealing the dimly lit interior. Rushing in, Sips quickly noticed Sjin lying on the hospital bed, the top propped up so he could properly watch the small TV on the other side of the room.

"Sjin!" Hearing his name, Sjin turned his head to the voice suddenly, a huge smile growing across his face once he saw Sips.

"Sipsy!" Rushing forward, Sips threw his arms around Sjin, being careful not to be too rough on the poor man. Squeezing Sips weakly, Sjin laughed, his weak arms barely grasping Sips' back.

Coughing harshly, Sjin backed off of Sips, lying fully against his hospital bed. Worry etched in his face, Sips looked at Duncan who could only shake his head sadly. Tears started to form in the corners of his eyes, but he shook them off, desperate to not let Sjin see him depressed, but only happy.

"Hey, Sjin? You okay tuts?" Gently, Sips brought a hand up to gently stroke the back of Sjin's, now bald, head, the hair having been gone months ago. Even his signature moustache and beard were gone, his skin scarily empty for Sips' liking. Smiling weakly, Sjin nodded slowly, relaxing fully against the fluffy pillow.

"Sipsy..?" Motioning for him to lean in closer, Sips sat on the edge of the hospital bed, leaning his face close to Sjin's. Smiling again, Sjin continued.

"I'm going to die soon, aren't I Sipsy?" Biting his lip again to stop his tears, and to ignore the pain in his heart, Sips lied.

"No, Sjin, you're going to get better and get out of here and live happily with me forever! We're gonna get married and grow old together and… and…!" Sips didn't even realize the tears were flowing down his cheeks until Sjin wiped them away with his thumbs.

"Sipsy… It's okay. I already know." Coughing again weakly, Sjin sighed deeply, his eyelids becoming heavy. Sips felt panic growing in his chest, knowing his time was running out.

"Sjin! No, please, just- Just stay with me! Just one more day! I just… I just love you so much! What will I do without you?!" Clenching Sjin's hand tightly, Sips all but yelled as Sjin slowly relaxed more and more.

"I love you Sjin! I love you so god damn much! Please, please stay here! Who's going to help me run Sips Co? Who's going to be there to help fix my mistakes? Who's gonna be here as my best friend? Who…" Sips paused, taking a deep breath, his next words barely above a whisper. "W-Who am I going to be without you by my side?"

"I love you so much Sipsy… You're going to be amazing, just like I've always known… You're the real guy… The best guy… The guy I fell in love with and love so much even to this day…" Bringing his other hand up, Sjin lightly cupped Sips' tear stained jaw. "We may not have been married, Sips, but know that in my heart we always were, and I knew we would be." Closing his eyes, Sips watched as a tear slipped from the edges of his eyes, a soft humming of a song hitting his ears.

Eyes widening in realization, Sips started to speak, but the sound of a long, constant beep brought him from his trance. Waves of emotions hit Sips at once, rendering him unable to do anything but sit in horror, reality hitting him harder than he ever thought it could. Hands shaking uncontrollably, Sips brought them up to gently cup Sjin's face, his peaceful smile now a permanent feature on his still form.

No longer would Sips see Sjin's beautiful, glowing eyes. How they would sparkle with life and happiness whenever he saw Sips. No longer would Sips hear his lover laugh at his stupid jokes, no longer would he hear his sweet voice speak to him. No longer would Sips feel Sjin's hand as they walked down the street, or feel his loving embrace as they cuddled together on a sofa or in bed.

Sips felt nor heard anything as Duncan and some others came to bring Sjin out of the hospital room. He didn't remember the drive back to the hotel, or how much he drank that night. He didn't remember the details of the funeral, only that it was the most depressed and horrible he had ever felt in his life, and all of his friends knew it. Sjin had lost in his battle against cancer, but for Sips and all the other's lives he had touched, he would not be forgotten.

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